


Compare and Contrast

by NuttyHazelnut



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-01
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 04:41:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/744363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NuttyHazelnut/pseuds/NuttyHazelnut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John gets a message from Dave saying "goodbye." A week later Dave is at his doorstep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Compare and Contrast

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually a gift to my friend. You know who you are bb. If you're reading this then please note that I tried. Please don't kill me.

**Compare and Contrast**

**\--** **turntechGodhead** **[TG]** **began pestering** **ectoBiologist** **[EB]** **at 01:26** **–-**

**TG: bye john**

**\--** **turntechGodhead** **[TG]** **ceased pestering** **ectoBiologist** **[EB]** **at 01:27** **–-**

\---

You lie down on your bed, going through Dave’s message in your head. That was the last message he ever left for you. Bastard. He purposely sent that in the middle of the night so you couldn’t reply. What the hell was he thinking with the goodbye anyway? You’re worried. It’s been a week.

Your eyes dart off to the Con Air poster at the far end of your room. You manage a little smile. Why was it there again? Right- because you loved terrible movies, especially ones with Nick Cage. Heck posters of them are scattered all around your room. Even the poster of the clown, or harlequin as your Dad puts it is still there. He really preserved the way everything was before you left. It’s been so long since then. Your own room seems so foreign to you now. College really has brainwashed you, after being gone for so long. You’re glad to be back for spring break though. It was nice to be able to eat Dad’s cooking instead of the usual instant noodles diet.

Speaking of Dad, he knocks on your door.

“John? There’s someone for you outside. Says he’s a friend of yours.”

That was strange. No one knew that you were going to be home for the break, except for your chums. You try to take a peek of this guy through your window, but your view is obscured by the now overgrown tree on your front yard. You couldn’t even see its tire swing anymore. You begin your descent for the front door.

The smell of horrid baking was wafting downstairs, meaning your Dad was at it again. Oh god.

>John: Open the front door.

Holy shit.

Your jaw drops at the sight of the person outside.

Blond hair, shades, and a raglan. Dave.

“Sup Egbert,” he says to you nonchalantly.

You try to form words but only incoherent mumbling comes out of your mouth. You were too stunned to speak. You look him over again. Blond hair, shades, and a raglan. Holy shitballs it really was him! You hug him without thinking. Bad move. His body becomes stiff as you put your arms around him. He pushes you away. Your eyes widen, a hint of hurt in them.

“Hugging…” Dave started. “Not cool dude.”

You apologize and let him in. There are so many questions you want to ask you don’t know where to start. How are you? What happened to you? Why are you here? Where have you been? What…

“What’s with the pesterlog last week?” you manage to get out as he sits on your living room couch. Dave, as if he wasn’t cold enough before, ignores your question completely and goes silent. A bad move yet again, Egbert. Gee, you’ve just got a knack for making things worse don’t you?

There’s no turning back then.

“Dave.” You say; command in your voice.

He looks at you. Or you think he does. It’s hard to know where he’s looking because of the shades.

“My friend from Texas came all the way here to Washington out of the blue a week after he says ‘goodbye’ and goes AWOL.”

You notice him shift in his seat. You still press on. There was just no other way to go about it, with Dave not responding to polite questions.

“Don’t you think I at least deserve an explanation?” you continue.

“Does it matter?” he says quickly in response, much to your surprise.

Someone sure is in their bitch mode.

“I came all the way from Texas to Washington to visit a friend. Don’t you think I at least deserve a welcome without questions?”

“You did receive a welcome – which you pushed away.”

SILENCE. Nothing in between the both of you but silence.

You guess it _was_ wrong to ask him questions just as he arrived. He must be tired and cranky from the long trip. You think it’s best to give up on the matter, for now.

“Look, I’m sorry Dave. I was just worried, ok?”

Dave smiled a little.

“Jesus you worry too much Egbert.”

And with that you safely assume that you two are ok from that argument.

You beam at him.

“Anyway how long are you going to stay here?” you ask.

“Probably ‘til a day before spring break ends,” he replies. “Or when Bro asks me to come back.”

Your smile fades a little. Bro has been dead for a year now. You know that when Dave says he’s going to “come back to Bro” it usually means a trip to the cemetery. Still his way of putting it as if bro was alive genuinely creeps the hell out of you. You hide that fact to the best of your abilities around Dave though. He’s always been… touchy when the topic of Bro arises.

“Oh… then where are you planning to stay?”

Dave looked startled.

“Well, uhh… I haven’t really thought that far ahead yet.”

You facepalm yourself.

“Dammit Dave. Were you hoping you can stay here?”

“Yeah,” Dave says sheepishly, pointing at the duffel bag he had brought along that you had only noticed now. “You’re my bro right?”

“Well, yes. We can talk it over with Dad. I’m not sure if he’ll like having a surprise visitor over though.

After around half an hour of introduction and interrogation with Dad, Dave gets the clear to stay. The both of you hang out in your room, which was a bad idea since your room can only handle one college-sized boy and not two. You sit on your computer chair while Dave lounges on your bed.

“I knew you had a thing for terrible movies, but I didn’t know it was this big of a thing,” Dave says as he points out all the movie posters.

“That was back then. Now, not so much.”

“Yeah dude just keep telling yourself that. You know you’ve got a boner for Nick Cage.”

“Haha, funny.”

“Or maybe Matthew McConaughey…”

“That I don’t completely deny,” you say jokingly.

The two of you laugh. It was nice to talk to Dave in person, and not just through Pesterchum. The both of you keep talking nonsense about college and stuff until Dad calls you both out for dinner. He seems to like the company you’ve got now that Dave’s here. Says it was nice for you to have some human interaction instead of being cooped up in your room all by yourself. You humor Dad throughout the rest of the dinner, a new skill you’ve acquired instead of just completely ignoring and avoiding him like the old days. Dave kept on talking about swords and how good Dad’s cooking was through the whole thing, something you are thankful for since you didn’t have to talk to Dad as much. After dinner you and Dave head on up to your room. Halfway up the staircase, your Dad stops you and tells you he wants to talk. You make Dave go ahead while you deal with your father.

“That’s an interesting friend you got there,” Dad says.

“You don’t know the half of it, Dad,” you reply. Boy you have gotten used to this whole ‘tolerating Dad’ thing.

“Though one question kid.”

‘What?”

“What’s up with that boy’s shades?”

You chuckle. This time, it was half genuine.

“Nothing Dad,” you say. “He just wants to act cool is all.”

He laughs. You manage a smile.

You begin to head to your room, slightly pissed at the fact that your Dad called you out only for such trivial babble.

“Son?” Dad calls again.

“Yeah Dad?”

“Nothing, nevermind.”

“Hokay Dad.”

You open your bedroom door to find Dave already conked out on your bed. He really must’ve been tired from the trip. You think this is a perfect opportunity to investigate about him.

Wait, who can you ask? Rose, maybe?

**\-- ectoBiologist** **[EB]** **began pestering** **tentacleTherapist [TT] at 19:56 –-**

**EB: rose!**

**TT: What is it now John?**

**EB: do you know what’s up with dave lately?**

**TT: …**

**TT: I do not know this individual which you speak of.**

**EB: what??**

**EB: how the hell can you NOT know dave???**

**EB: are you pulling a prank on me????**

**TT: No, John.**

**TT: I sincerely do not know this person.**

**EB: i think you’re going crazy!**

**TT: If anyone is going crazy, it’s you.**

**\-- ectoBiologist** **[EB]** **is now an idle chum!** **–-**

**TT: Oh fuck.**

You think Rose has gone mad. How can she possibly forget who Dave was? After all those years? She might have begun drinking like her mother. Yeah, maybe that’s why, you try to convince yourself.

Let’s try Jade then.

**\-- ectoBiologist** **[EB]** **began pestering gardenGnostic** **[GG]** **at 20:15** **–-**

**EB: hi jade!**

**GG: hi john!! :D**

**EB: yeah, about dave, do you know what happened to him?**

**GG: ???**

**GG: who’s dave? O.O**

**EB: oh uhh nothing**

**EB: nevermind i asked**

**GG: well ok**

**EB: anyway, thanks jade**

**GG: no prob john!**

**EB: yeah, bye!**

**GG: bye!! :D <3**

**\-- ectoBiologist** **[EB]** **ceased pestering gardenGnostic** **[GG]** **at 20:24** **–-**

Great, now Jade too? Something is seriously wrong here. You couldn’t find that out until Dave was awake though. It would be bad to wake him up now. You leave this problem until tomorrow morning.

You look around your room. Everything was boring now that Dave’s asleep. You don’t know what you want to do next. Well, there was always this option: sleep. You take up the space Dave left unoccupied, which was a hard thing to do. The bed was only built for one person. However there was no way in hell you were sleeping on the floor. You manage to squeeze yourself into a somewhat comfortable position and begin to doze off.

\---                                   

You feel something grazing your lips. Something soft, something warm. It was a pleasant feeling. You open your eyes.

Mother of fuck Dave is kissing you.

Dave. Is. Kissing. You.

You panic. You begin to push him back but to no avail. He’s stronger than you. He’s got you pinned down real good. There was something hard pressing against your groin area. Good lord is that your best friend’s fucking boner?! You look at him, half angry half scared. He wasn’t wearing his shades. You can see his eyes, a lovely red, gazing at you with such intensity. You panic even more. You panic, you push, you strain, you weaken, you give up…

But why did giving up feel good?

You close your eyes and focus only on the kiss. Just like you said before, it was a pleasant feeling. Dave’s lips were soft and warm. But there was something more than warmth there. There was heat. His tongue was swirling around yours, exploring your mouth. You felt hot all over, the same way he did. He took his shirt of and did the same with yours, throwing both on the floor. His lips moved down your neck, kissing and biting it. That was sure to leave marks you’d have a tough time explaining the reason for. He moved his way down even more, biting your nipples, eliciting a scream from you. It was embarrassing. Here you were screaming and making weird noises and there he was not even making a single sound. Dave traced a line down your torso with his tongue, stopping when he reached the zipper of your pants, which he pulled down his teeth. Now you had to admit that was kinda sexy, if you weren’t freaking out about what your best friend was doing to you. He pulls down your pants, revealing your half-hard dick. You see him smirk. Ok, this is _really_ bad, you tell yourself. Really, really, rea-! You try to silence the noise that came out of your mouth, and your train of thought along with it, as Dave just inserted two fingers of his up your butt hole. Holy motherfucking shit, Egbert. More strange noises come out of your mouth, something along the lines of “Ah…!” From pleasure or pain, you don’t know. Then, there it was. The sign that you were completely feeling it: you ejaculate. Dave’s smirk grows wider. He pulls down his own pants, revealing his dick dripping with pre-cum. Oh you know where the hell that thing was going inside next. Up your ass.

He inserts his dick up your ass. Each thrust surges you with pleasure, you try to control your moans. No such luck kiddo. He notices that you try to stop yourself from giving in. He thrusts deeper, harder, even jacking-off your again hard dick to boot. Your mind starts to go blank. Until you, until you…

Wake up in the middle of the night with cold sweat dripping down your forehead.

Oh my god you just had a wet dream about your best friend. You check your pants. Yeah, they’re wet. This is just humiliating. You just had your first ever wet dream. When you were in college. To your best friend who was sleeping right beside you. Which was to say is worse than masturbating to a Nick Cage movie.

You change out of your sullied pants and underwear and plop down on your side of the bed. Wet dream or not there was no way you were sleeping on the floor with its coldness, germs, and dust bunnies. You sleep with your back facing Dave. You wonder how you’re going to talk to him in the morning.

\---

It turns out you can’t even look Dave in the eye now. All your attempts to interrogate him about why Jade and Rose didn’t remember him and his sudden AWOL-ness and appearance have been moved to priority number two for the time being, priority number one being getting over the awkwardness and embarrassment you yourself have caused. You were grabbing lunch together when he finally confronts you.

“Yo John, you okay?” Dave asks.

“Yeah, why are you asking?” you reply, avoiding eye contact.

“Well for starters you don’t even look me in the eye…”

Dave was more perceptive than you initially thought.

>John: Pray that you can get your way out of this one.

“I uhh… your face is just bothering me, is all. Maybe if you didn’t look so damn retarded all the time maybe I can bear to look at you with no breaks.”

“Dipshit! C’mon my face ain’t that bad! Maybe you just need to get used to it!” Dave says as he squeezes your face with his hands and pulls it closer to his. He was wearing his shades so you couldn’t see his eyes. His lips draw your attention, pretty and pinkish, almost like a girl’s. You remember what he did to you with those lips in your dream. You blush, quickly pushing away Dave’s face to regain composure.

“Not cool dude!” you say as you try to mimic the way he always says the iconic three-letter sentence.

The both of you laugh. You mostly laughed to hide your own embarrassment. It was impossible not to think about that dream with its star right in front of you. You needed a little air.

“Say Dave, wanna go out for a while?”

\---

The both of you go to the nearby park, watching some kids play football. The kids were short one player so they asked one of you to fill in. You persuaded Dave to go, which was basically an underhanded way of saying “I don’t want to be near you for a little while.” So, while Dave was off playing football you were left to your own devices, contemplating on how to deal with your best friend. There was no way you could just tell him to leave and get his sorry butt on the next plane to Texas. Neither of you would want that. Plus there was still the Dave’s-acting-really-weird mystery to be solved. It wasn’t Dave’s fault that he was the object of your subconscious fantasies. If there was anyone at fault it was you.

Just then your head starts to pound. Then…then you…

\---

Rain was pouring heavily.  You, Rose, and Jade were sitting on the front pew. Dave was up on the steps leading to the altar, hand on his brother’s casket. The funeral’s atmosphere was dark. The church was nothing but gray, from the door to the altar. There were only a few people, occupying only the first few pews of the church. Thunder rolled and lightning fell, adding to the ambience. As eulogies from people you didn’t care about were being said, your attention was only focused on one thing: Dave. You were extremely worried about him. Bro, his only family, was dead because of a car accident. Who was to take care of him now? Dave had insisted on living by himself, saying that it was going to be fine. You knew he only said that so that people would stop worrying, which only made you worry even more. Dave was still up there, solemn. He had his shades on so that people wouldn’t see but you knew his eyes were red from crying. This wasn’t the normal lovely red his eyes were but the really horrible haggard type. You saw him. He had cried in front of you.

You know Dave had finally had enough of this funeral bullshit when he bolts for the door. You chase after him, even when Jade and Rose told you not to. My, that was quite a scene you two have made there. You didn’t care, however. Comforting a friend was more important. It didn’t matter that you were soaking wet and cold to the bone. You find him at the back of the church, equally soaked as you. Dave stood there, hands in pockets, looking at the ground. You inch closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Dave, you ok?”

Dave looked at you for a moment. He was silent, giving no reply to your question. You felt awkward. Maybe Jade and Rose were right not to bother him. Then Dave did the most un-Dave thing he could have done at that situation. He hugged you.

Your body stiffened from shock. You weren’t expecting this at all. Dave had both of his arms around you, squeezing tight. In all those years you’ve known Dave the most intimate friendly gesture you two have ever done was a fist bump. This was going down in broship history.

Yet in this momentous moment you still manage to screw up big time.

You understand why you were stunned. What you didn’t understand was why you had to push Dave away.

There was a lot of force in that push. You send your bro a few feet back and down on the ground. Douche.

Dave just sits there, all muddied. Even his hair had mud stuck to it. He removes his shades and gets a good look at you. Hs eyes were red from the crying all right, but there was something new there. The look of shock that seems to ask you: why John?

You couldn’t bear to look at him like that. You begin to regret what you did. In any situation it was never right to do that, even more so when your friend was just going through the loss of his only family. You try to apologize.

“I… I’m sorry Dave,” you say while looking down, clenching your fists.

Dave only looks at you still.

 “I said I’m sorry!” you say again with more force.

Dave stands up as you take a step back. The eyes that asked why now contain a look that held such intensity. You couldn’t look away from him when he was looking at you with those lovely pools of red. They manage to distract you enough until you realize that Dave’s fist had just connected with your face. He gives you one last angry look before storming back inside the church.

\---

“John!? Hey, you okay!? John!”

You open your eyes to the sight of Dave’s face looking relieved. He smiles.

“Jeezus Egbert! You scared the hell out of me back there!”

“Mnh… what happened?”

“You passed out man.”

Oh yeah, you did pass out. The last thing you remember before blacking out was a pounding in your head. What exactly was that episode? You don’t recall something like that ever happening before. You were at Bro’s funeral with Jade and Rose. Wait, if they didn’t remember Dave then why where they there? Why were…

The head pounding starts again.

“John? John!”

That was the last thing you hear before passing out again.

\---

Dave was yelling at you.

That was weird, you couldn’t hear a thing. It was like the whole world was put on mute. Whatever it was he was saying, it looked like he was angry. Really angry - to the point where he was on the verge of tears. You try to comfort him; to say you’re sorry for whatever it was you did but you couldn’t even hear the words that came from your own mouth. Dave kept on yelling and yelling until he stopped and just stared you down. He marches toward you.

Then he pushes you down and smacks you on the lips.

\---

It was dark. You were lying down on something soft. Where were you? You check the place out. You look to your left and you see Nick Cage’s face in the dark. You freak out but then realize that his face was scattered on all four walls of the room. Wait, this is your room! Dave must’ve carried you home. Boy that should’ve been embarrassing for the both of you. You remember going to the park with Dave to get some fresh air when you passed out. Twice, to be exact. Ugh, what was up with that anyway? You never knew you were the passing out type until now. And what were those things you saw when you were knocked out? The first one was a memory from Bro’s funeral. Or was it a real memory? There was still a hole with Jade and Rose’s story. If they didn’t know Dave then why were they there? Best not think about it now for fear that you might faint again. But the second one? You don’t recall that ever happening in real life. Maybe it was another one of your sick subconscious fantasies about Dave. Still you feel that it is of some importance. You slowly lose yourself in thought when the bedroom door opens. It was Dad.

“Son?” he calls.

“Yeah Dad?” you reply.

“You gave me and your friend quite a shock, kiddo.”

“Sorry Dad.”

“Anyway, are you ok now? Do you need some meds? A trip to the hospital?”

“No, I’m ok Dad. I think that whole fiasco was all because the stress from college finally bit me in the butt.”

“Hmmm, ok John. You take better care of yourself now.”

“I will Dad. I don’t want to be some passing out baby.”

Dad smiles and pats you on the back. He begins to walk to the door when you stop him.

“Wait Dad where’s Dave?”

“He’s downstairs in the living room.”

“Can you bring him in?”

After nodding in reply, Dad shuts the door and goes downstairs. A short moment later and you hear loud footsteps heading for your room.

“Christ, Egbert! You asshole!” Dave says as he rushes into your bedroom.

”What would have happened if you died?! It’s gonna be my fault yo! No way in hell am I going to jail you hear me?! And do you even know how heavy you are!?”

You laugh. That was probably Dave speak for ‘worried sick.’

“Chillax dude. I’m not going to die. I was just tired.”

“Yeah tired enough to pass out twice in a row.”

“I know, I know. I’m a wuss.”

“Heh, you got that right.”

And just like that you completely forget the whole awkwardness about the wet dream incident. Dave’s cool. He didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe you just need to faint more often to get sick fantasies out of your head.

That’s right! Now that your own personal issue is dealt with, why don’t you go and deal with Dave’s?

“Uh Dave?”

“Yeah John?”

“What happened to you that week after your last message? And why don’t Jade and Rose know who you are?”

Dave grew silent. You knew you stepped on a land mine. He was silent for a minute before he spoke, his tone a tad dark.

“You know John? I think the best person to ask about what happened is you.”

“Oh…” you say. “No biggie if you don’t wanna tell.”

You just tell yourself to completely scrap the issue. You were sure you weren’t getting anything out of Dave. You just have to respect the man’s right to privacy. And maybe Jade and Rose were just pranking you after all. Meh, who cares. Passing out twice in a day is really hard work. All you want to do is sleep. You bid Dave good night before going to Snoozeville.

\---

You wake up again in the middle of the night with cold sweat running down your forehead. That same dream again. This was downright embarrassing. You change into new underwear and go back to sleep, praying that this doesn’t bother you as much as it did the first time.

\---

The day was over in a flash. You and Dave did nothing but watch terrible movies from your collection, play video games, eat chips, order pizza, you know, ordinary bro stuff (thank god you didn’t even think about that horrid dream once). You even got him to practice some of your old magic tricks with you. More surprisingly so was that you got him to read Colonel Sassacre’s Daunting Text! You knew that book was amazing but now Dave knew it too! This trip down memory road was a nice change for once. It’s been so long since you last touched this stuff.

It was all fun and games… until you got that wet dream again.

Shit. When was it going to go away.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t.

The rest of the break was rather uneventful. It was always the same routine. Horrible movies, video games, chips, text, wet dream. Rinse and repeat. You get that wet dream every single night it doesn’t even bother you anymore. Let your head continue with its sick fantasies, as long as it didn’t interfere with real life. You and Dave go and strengthen your bonds as bros until the night before Dave leaves.

That night you wake up at 1 AM. For the first time in days you wake up not because of that horrid dream but because you needed to take a leak. Horray! You rejoice quietly as you get out of bed. The bed was suspiciously roomier. You look around and see that Dave wasn’t there. Must’ve gotten up for a midnight snack you suppose.

You walk to the bathroom to find that its lights were on. You think that the person inside must be Dave since you could hear your Dad snoring in his room. You knock on the door.

“Dave?”

No answer.

“Dave? Can you hurry it up a bit? I need to go bad.”

The bathroom was silent. Your hand reached for the doorknob. It’s unlocked. To hell if you see Dave with his pants down. You’ve seen it in your dreams too much even think that you might be embarrassed. You needed to go and you needed to go now. You open the door.

No amount of preparation could have prepared you for what you saw.

Dave was in the bathtub, his wrists slashed, the tub water red with his blood.

“Dave!” you yell as you kneel next to the tub. His clothes and shades were on the ground next to you, along with your Dad’s bloodied straight razor.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

Your voice comes out raspy. Why wouldn’t it be?! Your best friend just attempted suicide in your bathtub!

You reach for one of his slashed wrists, trying to feel a pulse. Luckily there was, but it was weak.

Dave opened his eyes. You couldn’t appreciate their lovely red with all the blood around him. If anything, you despised the color now.

“Quiet Egbert I’m trying to die.”

“You son of a bitch! Don’t you dare die on me! Who was it who was worried to hell when he thought I was going to die the other day?!”

In this situation Dave still had it in him to chuckle.

“Because it’s you John. It’s different for me.”

“You’re crazy!”

“You of all people should know that by now.”

“I’m calling 911!”

“Too late Egbert. I’m pretty sure I’ll be gone soon. Bro’s waiting.”

“What?! Even now it’s still because of him?!”

“It always has been. It’s all because he died that I ended up like this.”

Dave started to close his eyes. You grip his hand tighter.

“Dave!”

You start to cry.

“Dave!”

“And here I thought a visit to you would be enough to set me straight. Guess I was wrong.”

“What!?”

What comes out last from his mouth is a barely audible whisper.

“Bye John.”

Dave was dead.

You start weeping next to your dead friend.

You feel your head pounding again.

“Urg…”

You collapse on the bathroom floor, clutching the hand of a guy who had just committed suicide.

\---

_“You know John? I think the best person to ask about what happened is you.”_

The truth.

It’s been half a year since Bro died. You still haven’t made up with Dave for the pushing incident. Still you wonder if he was doing ok. You try to contact him occasionally, which took a lot of guts. He never replies to your messages though, let alone answer your phone calls. He’s been giving the cold shoulder to Jade and Rose as well, for some weird reason.

Then one day he decides to turn up in the apartment you’ve been staying in near your college.

You become speechless when you see that it was him who knocked on the door. There was just too many things to say. How have you been? I’m sorry. What brings you here? We missed you. _I_ missed you.

“So, you letting me in or what?” Dave asks you. You scramble a bit and let him enter immediately, silently thanking him for preventing you from being a speechless idiot for an even longer amount of time.

He sinks down on your couch and observes your college abode.

“Nice place you got here Egbert.”

“Thanks. Dad’s pretty good at picking out places.”

There’s a long pause of silence yet again.

“So…” you start. “What brings you here?”

“I came to see a friend.”

You sigh in relief. This may be a sign that he has forgiven you for the incident at the funeral.

“That’s nice. We’ve been worried sick about you, you know?”

“We?”

“Yes, we. Me, Jade, and Rose.”

He smiles a little.

“Sorry for worrying you then.”

You beam at him. Then you notice the duffel bag he had brought along.

“Don’t tell me you’re planning to stay here?”

He smiles at you sheepishly. “Yeah, I was kinda hoping that.”

There was no way you could just let your friend sleep in the streets. And after you’ve just made up? No way you would let your friend down.

“Fine. But you’re sleeping on the couch all right?”

“Oh come on. Like I’d ever want to share a bed with you.”

The both of you laugh. It was nice to see Dave again. To see that he was doing just as fine as he had promised and not mad at you.

“Hey Dave how long are you going to be staying, anyway?”

“Hmmm… maybe around a week.”

“What, you’re planning to bitch at me for a week?”

“As a matter of fact, yes.”

In your head you still wonder why Dave decided to come and visit you at such an uneventful time of year. There was nothing special the both of you could do. And you’d have a hard time entertaining Dave because you’d probably be spending the rest of the week holed up in the university. Not that you were complaining though. You were more than glad to have him around.

You spent the rest of the day lounging around the couch with Dave, talking about the most random stuff. Nothing like a random bro-to-bro talk to strengthen the broship. He even pulled out one of his not-so-sick-but-he-thinks-so-anyway rhymes for you. Really, it was almost like Dave hadn’t had certain ‘unstable moments’ when Bro died. He seemed perfectly normal, except for his occasional spacing-out. The bromance ended when you watched Con Air on DVD for irony’s sake. You said you were done with that phase but Dave had insisted. He ended up snoozing by the middle part of the movie though, leaving you to watch that shit alone. You suddenly think of sending messages to Jade and Rose about Dave’s whereabouts.

**\-- ectoBiologist** **[EB]** **began pestering gardenGnostic** **[GG]** **at 20:34** **–-**

**EB: hi jade!**

**GG: hi john!! :D**

**EB: yeah, about dave…**

**GG: yes??? O.O**

**GG: what about him?**

**EB: he’s fine.**

**EB: he suddenly showed up in my apartment.**

**EB: says he wants to stay over for a week.**

**GG: well that’s great!! :D**

**GG: glad to know that hes safe :D**

**GG: take care of him alright john?**

**EB: of course.**

**EB: anyway, bye Jade!**

**GG: bye john!! :D <3**

**\-- ectoBiologist** **[EB]** **ceased pestering gardenGnostic** **[GG]** **at 20:47** **–-**

Great. Now for Rose.

**\-- ectoBiologist** **[EB]** **began pestering** **tentacleTherapist [TT] at 20:49–-**

**EB: rose!**

**TT: What is it now John?**

**EB: dave’s ok.**

**EB: he suddenly decided to sleep over at my apartment for a week.**

**TT: That’s marvellous news!**

**TT: Be sure to avoid making Bro the topic of conversation at all cost.**

**EB: got it.**

**TT: You know how unstable Dave has become since Bro’s untimely death.**

**EB: yeah but i think he’s better now.**

**TT: Just take caution, John.**

**EB: yeah i know.**

**TT: I best take my leave. Mother’s having one of her “episodes” again.**

**EB: oh ok see ya!**

**\-- ectoBiologist** **[EB]** **ceased pestering** **tentacleTherapist [TT] at 20:55–-**

Dave was sleeping like a baby on the couch. You turn off the DVD player and proceed to your room to get an extra blanket to cover up Dave. It was getting pretty cold out. You didn’t want to make him sick and possibly make you sick as well in the process. You tuck yourself in bed to catch some Z’s.

The week with Dave had rather become a routine. You wake up early in the morning and salvage whatever it is that can be eaten from the fridge. Dave wakes up just as you are eating breakfast. He joins you to eat. You leave the apartment semi-ready to survive whatever blow the day gives to you in terms of academics while Dave just slacks off and entertains himself with whatever he can find. You go home just in time for dinner and dine with Dave to some quality instant noodles. You two have a little bro time. Talk nonsense. Sleep. Wake up and repeat the process. You had to admit that it was a routine you wouldn’t mind repeating over and over though. Dave was good company after all.

With that said you weren’t ready at all for the ‘snap.’

You go home an hour later than usual on Dave’s last night of sleeping over.  Not a single light was on. You think that Dave had probably slept already. You check the couch to find it unoccupied.

“Dave?” you say.

Silence. Nothing but silence.

“Dave?” you say again, louder.

Still no response.

You think that maybe he had gone out. But without telling you? Where was he to go, anyway? You search for him around the apartment, a sinking feeling in your gut. There really wasn’t much ground to search. The living room was connected to the dining room and the kitchen. The only two rooms with doors were the bathroom and your room.

>John: Check the bathroom.

You check the bathroom. You switch the lights on, preparing for the worst. Luckily, everything seemed normal. Dave wasn’t in there, however.

>John: Check your room.

Ok now what would Dave be doing in your room? Anyway, you open the doorknob. The room’s window was open. From the dim light the moon gave you could see a figure on the floor in fetal position.

“Dave?” you call out.

He wasn’t moving an inch.

You walk toward him, wary. You crouch on the space next to him and nudge him on the shoulder.

“Dave? You alright?”

“No, I’m not.”

The next thing you knew Dave grabbed you by the shirt collar and kissed you forcefully.

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.

Your instant reaction was to panic, to flail around to get away from him. He already beats you to it though, when he releases you and pushes you away. You look at him wide-eyed, asking for an explanation.

Dave rubs his lips with the back of his hand.

“Do you know what it feels like Egbert?” Dave asks.

You couldn’t respond.

“I said do you know what it feels like!?”

“F-feel what?” you manage to get out.

“The feeling that everyone’s happier than you. They go on with their lives all fucking giddy… while you’re still stuck in the same place.”

You could feel that Dave was seething. All that stress he’s been building up since Bro died was finally erupting, in more ways than one. Unfortunately, on you.

“Look I don’t know what’s gotten in to you. Ever since Bro-“

Whoops.

John you idiot. Talk about adding oil to the fire.

“Ever since Bro _what_ John?! Since he died?! Yes I’ve been a mess!”

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Wouldn’t you be a mess to? Left alone. Your friends go on with their lives while you’re stuck at being depressed.”

“We tried to help you!”

“Messaging me every now and then wasn’t enough!”

“You told us you were going to be fine!”

“I’m not! Ok, John? I was never fine. I was never…”

You could see that Dave was on the verge of tears. He wasn’t fine. If anything he was insane. You never thought that he would snap like that at you.

“Whatever it is, I’m sorry.” You say.

Dave wasn’t buying it.

“Sorry for what John? For leaving me alone? For pushing me when I needed a friend?”

“I-I…”

There was nothing else you could say.

“You’re not sorry! You feel sorry for _me_ , and that’s a different thing! That’s pity! I don’t need that!”

After yelling at you, Dave grew silent. You thought he was fine now, that his episode had come to pass. Little did you know that the worst was yet to come.

Dave pins you down and smacks you in the lips. You could feel his tongue slipping in your mouth. To your surprise it didn’t feel disgusting. You, of course, still struggle. I mean who wouldn’t when their best friend sexually attacks them out of nowhere? However Dave was stronger than you. He had you pinned down real good. The next thing you knew he was taking your pants off, along with his. He was kind enough to leave your underwear untouched, however not for long. He releases you from the kiss, though only enough for you to make a useless complaint.

“Asshole! Stop!”

Dave bites his lips.

“Are you seriously going to say that in this situation? You know, the more you tell me to stop the more I want to go.”

Shit.

He grabs your groin.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

He realizes that you were hard and grins.

“See? You’re feeling it too.”

He pulls down your underwear to reveal your – guess what – already hard dick. The grin on his face grew wider. He grips it with his hand, rubbing the tip with his finger.

“Ah…”

Holy shit did you just moan?

“Ah… stop…”

“I really can’t handle you Egbert.”

The next thing you see is Dave pulling his underwear down. The next thing you feel is Dave’s dick up your ass.

You were having sex with your best friend.

It hurts.

It was your first time, of course it did. Though it also hurt emotionally. Your best friend, whom you trusted, forced sex upon you.

You let out a moan which was a mixture of pain and pleasure. You could feel tears running down your eyes. You wanted Dave to stop, yet at the same time continue. He thrusts in deeper, harder. You moan louder. The something wet fell upon your chest. Tears.

Dave was crying as he held you. Despite what he was doing he was still your friend. You hug him. The both of you climax.

He slumps down and lays on your chest, his tears still flowing.

You stroke his hair his hair to calm him down. That is, before you lost your cool and yanked his head by his hair. Whatever sympathy you felt for him was gone. No matter how strong the friendship you two had was, what Dave did was still wrong. He raped you. Even worse still was that you let him.

The space that sympathy left was now dwelled in by rage.

You stand up, semen trickling down the lower half of your body, a fact you wanted to ignore.

That would have only fuelled the rage more.

You still had Dave by the hair. You pull on it harder to go with your message.

“I want you out of my apartment before morning Strider.”

Dave was still crying. The dominance he had over you was gone, replaced by this empty shell of crying mess. He looked at you like a defenseless animal. The part of your brain that told you that whatever you were doing was just as bad as what Dave did to you was overpowered by irrational anger. It somehow managed to win over it though. You let go of Dave’s head, tears starting to fall from your eyes.

“Just… please leave.” You say.

Dave gets out of your room and slams the door shut.

You lay on your bed and cry yourself to sleep.

The next morning you see that there was no trace of Dave anywhere. He was gone, just as you had told him to. You feel bad about it, but still think that you gave that bastard what he deserved. You don’t think that you could ever be bros again after that.

You get no word from Dave for a week.

The next week however the exact opposite happened.

You get messages from Dave almost every hour. Saying “I’m sorry” or “What do I have to do for you to forgive me?” You completely ignore him of course. It was going to take more than that for you to forgive him. The wound was still raw and his way of treating it was of no effect.

He begins calling you everyday aside from the messages. You still ignore him. He insists on calling you nonetheless, to the point where you had to block his number on your phone.

You ignore him for about two months until you receive the final message.

**\--** **turntechGodhead** **[TG]** **began pestering** **ectoBiologist** **[EB]** **at 01:26** **–-**

**TG: bye john**

**\--** **turntechGodhead** **[TG]** **ceased pestering** **ectoBiologist** **[EB]** **at 01:27** **–-**

You don’t get why he sent that. Let alone why he sent it in the middle of the night. He clearly did not want a reply, considering the fact that he sent it to you at a time when you were most likely asleep.

Everything started to make sense when you receive a phone call that morning.

You pick up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Good morning. Is this John Egbert?”

The person on the other end of the line was a guy you were certain you didn’t know. He had a Texan drawl when he spoke.

“Yes. May I ask who’s calling?”

“I’m from Ben Taub General Hospital in Houston. About your friend Dave Strider…”

Oh no.

You get that horrible feeling in your gut again.

“He tried to commit suicide…”

You fall silent for a moment. A wave of guilt overcomes you. You feel like this was all your fault. Why did you have to ignore him for so long?

“Is he alive?!” you shout at the receiver.

“Yes, though barely. His neighbors found him in his bathtub, wrists slashed. Said he had a note with your name and contact number written on it. ”

You feel hot tears flowing from your eyes.

“I-I understand,” your voice was cracking. “I’ll be visiting him soon.”

“Alright.”

“Thank you for informing me.”

You put down the phone, grab your wallet, then get out of the apartment. You were going to buy a plane ticket for the soonest flight to Houston.

Your Dad will definitely kill you for using that emergency credit card for the plane ticket. Not that you cared. All the caring you had right now was only for Dave.

\---

You arrive at the airport after a few hours. You get a cab and head for the hospital. You tell the driver to speed up, causing him to overtake.

Bad move yet again, John.

Your vehicle gets hit by an incoming truck.

\---

>Dave: Wake up your friend.

Action not valid.

>John: Wake up.

“Dave!” you yell.

You flinch from pain coming from the side of your head. You touch the part where the pain was centered. It had been covered up in bandage. You observe the room you are in: a hospital room.

You look at the tag on your wrist. It read _Ben Taub General Hospital._

What? Where was Dave? What happened to him? Was he dead? Didn’t he slash his wrists in your bath tub? Why were you in a hospital?

You sit up from your bed. There was something, or rather someone, at the foot of your bed. It was Dave. In a hospital gown. He was alive. Extremely pale but alive. He didn’t die.

You reach out a hand to him, as if testing out if he was real or not. He raises his head at your touch. He grows wide-eyes and hugs you. He begins crying.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” he mumbles.

“Sorry for what? I’m just glad you’re alive.”

“I’m sorry for everything…”

He releases you from the hug. You see the scars on his wrists. You feel an unexplainable pang of guilt. You try to ignore it for the moment.

“Dave? Why am I in the hospital? What happened at my house?”

“Your cab got hit by a truck on the way here. What about your house?”

“My cab got hit by a truck? Anwyway, you know what happened at my house! You stayed over for spring break… and tried to kill yourself by slashing your wrists.”

Dave looked at you with confusion for a moment.

“The trying to kill myself part is true… but staying over for spring break? It’s October John.”

What?

“But we were at my house!”

“Maybe that was all in your head while you were out cold for a week.”

“I was out cold for a week?”

“You don’t remember? I told you. Your cab got hit by a truck. You got a serious concussion.” He points at the bandage on your head. “You were out cold for a week.”

You’ve gotta be kidding. All that stuff about spring break was all a concussion delusion?

“No way Dave…”

The room of your door swings open. A nurse enters, all dressed in white. She had the look of utmost concern in her face.

“Sir? Who are you talking to?”


End file.
